As I listened to the treatment plan, risks and benefits of chemo, eventuality of radiation, the need for Herceptin and hormone repression measures, scheduled implantation of a chemotherapy port, appointments for baseline CT's / Bone Scans / MRI's / Cardiac Tests, layers and layers of prescription drugs to counteract chemotherapy side effects, and the recommendation for a complete hysterectomy, I felt myself standing precariously on the edge. But then the oncologist used the phrase "potentially curable cancer." What? I think she said it four or five times before it sunk in and I took the first deep breath in weeks.
I dove. Head first. Dark Waters, indeed. I touched the bottom before I began to rise, but eventually I broke the surface and found my way to edge of a new country. If you are a survivor, you know about this country. Some people call it the "new normal," but I tend to experience it as a place akin to Alice's Wonderland. But that's another painting.